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Mom Pressure & Drinking to Cope

Updated: Apr 26

woman sitting on floor in kitchen looking overwhelmed while holding a glass of wine

The pressure on Mom's to always have it all together is immense. So many women choose wine as their relaxant at the end of a night or during those stressful days; however, our culture has never allowed for much room where mothers can find balance in life without feeling guilty about themselves.

Our culture has put a feeling of shame and guilt on Moms who haven't met the 'standards' of today. This can lead to many unhealthy habits and patterns that can be detrimental to their own health and wellbeing, as well as their own family’s.

Social Acceptance of Drinking and Hiding a Problem

It has become widely accepted to drink socially while out with a group of friends, at a party, or even at work holiday parties. Though, many of whom may be engaging in these activities, may be struggling with a drinking problem that they don’t want anyone to know about.

In May of 2020, the National Institute of Health & National Library of Medicine conducted a survey on Alcohol Consumption during the COVID-19 Pandemic. Out of 832 adult participants, 84.4% were female. Almost two-thirds of 2020 participants 60.1% reported that their drinking had increased compared to before COVID-19. Of those, 45.7% reported that their drinking had increased because of increased stress, 34.4% reported that their drinking had increased because of the increased availability of alcohol, and 30.1% reported that their drinking had increased because of boredom. Almost two-thirds of the participants 63.7% listed some combination of these three reasons. The remainder either gave no reason or some other reason such as “It gives me the feeling of going out”, “I feel safer because I am at home”, “It’s a tasty distraction”, or “It feels permissible”.

an infographic showing more than 10 percent of US children live with a parent/caregiver with alcohol use disorder

Of the 84.4% females, 45.1% had children under the age of 18 still living in the home with them. Alcohol is a widely used, socially accepted substance that many mothers have used as a coping mechanism in their lives.

Motherhood is tough enough without adding alcohol to the mix. The occasional glass of wine at the end of the night, has turned into drinking in the middle of the day for many.

Mothers often feel guilty and ashamed about their drinking. They may be afraid that others will judge them, or treat them differently. She doesn't want to admit it out loud for the fear of realism setting in. While others may not realize that their drinking has become a problem. The occasional, has turned into, ‘the regular routine’. It’s when we feel that drinking alcohol is the only way to relax or ‘feel better’ that we begin to question whether it is a problem.

When is it a Problem?

If you find yourself drinking during your day-to-day routine, it might be time for some self reflection on how this affects other aspects of your life like family and work!

Here are some signs that can help you decide if your drinking has become a problem:

  • Drinking alone or in secrecy

  • Losing interest in activities you once found enjoyable

  • Alcohol cravings

  • Making drinking a priority over responsibilities

  • Alcohol withdrawal symptoms

  • Extreme mood swings and irritability

  • Feelings of guilt about drinking

  • Having a drink first thing in the morning

  • Continuing to drink despite health, financial and family problems

  • An inability to stop or control the amount of alcohol consumed

  • Having difficulty staying accountable for your actions throughout the day.

If you find yourself periodically seeking solace in alcohol during the day, it could mean there's something deeper at play than just an occasional glass of wine every now and again.

Taking the Step into A Recovery Journey

As moms, it can be difficult to put ourselves first. We focus all our energy on taking care of everyone else and never think about how this affects us personally or what we need in order for us to feel fulfilled with life.

The good news is, you’re not alone! There are many women out there who struggle making healthy choices and putting themselves first.

By creating a healthier lifestyle for your body and getting rid of the all-consuming habits that are draining you emotionally, as well physically, you will find more balance in both life inside the home and work life outside the home.

Creating a healthier lifestyle for yourself and your family is not selfish, it's self-preservation! When you make good decisions about what habits to form or change in order to better suit both aspects then life will be happier at home as well on top of being more balanced too.

Turning Leaves is here to help you through this journey. You DO NOT have to travel it alone. If you feel as though you need more guidance deciding if your drinking has truly become a problem, take our safe and confidential quiz or schedule a conversation with me so I can help you in your decision.


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