Updated: May 26
I was observing myself today interacting with the environment as it unfolded in front of me. It was honestly a pretty cool experience. I enjoyed each incident, even when I felt baffled, or had reason to be frustrated. It also opened an opportunity to converse with complete strangers in a way that most never do about things generally not brought up.
I think my favorite interaction today was with a young lady who worked at the grocery store. You see, I apologized to her when I turned around kind of abrupt, her reply was “no, I am sorry”, to which I said, “no really I was the one who wasn’t aware of my surroundings and honestly if more of us did like you just were, we probably would all be so much happier, because we wouldn’t be bumping into each other, we wouldn’t be taking a turn that wasn’t ours at a stop sign, we would be mindful of our appointment times, we would know how long we had with the doctor, we would talk to one another like we were friends, in fact, we just might be interested in learning someone else’s perspective instead of judging it for being other than our own”.
Now my ability to not allow any happenings of my day to cause me stress or anxiety came out of a great desire to no longer operate from that angle. I had grown tired of always being bothered and decided I was going to figure out what inside me allowed this to happen time and time again.
So, I got to know myself first then sought out to become interested in accepting my environment.
You can start here…….
Ask yourself this - How well do I know myself?
What jumped into your mind when you read this question? Did you stop and give yourself an answer? Maybe the better question is, did you ask yourself if the answer you gave yourself was genuine!
Let me give you a hand really quick with a simple way to find the truth.
· When you think about your health is your focus primarily physical? If so, you could be a bit less surface driven. Add in assessing your emotional, social, spiritual, intellectual, and environmental health as well. And when I say environmental, I mean your surroundings and the people you engage.
· Have you ever examined your internal dialogue? Has it ever crossed your mind that you speak to yourself through pressure-filled statements and directives? If not, try writing down every time you say I should for the next week. Then try to change those statements to preferences instead.
Now let’s talk about some attitudes and behaviors. Have you wondered why you are quick to judge or snap, even at perfect strangers? (Yes, I am also referring to your thoughts that you don’t say out loud or are just not heard because you are in your car.) And, what about actions you just do without any thought at all? Has it ever been a goal of yours to “do better”, “be nicer”, “act smarter”?
Well, here’s what you need to know first.
· You are giving your power away when the actions of someone else cause you to judge or snap. We call it being externally driven. What you need to do is see that, just like you, the other person is on their journey, and honestly, it isn’t up to you to approve. Seriously, why do we judge others just because it isn’t how we would do, think about, act on, or… whatever it is?
· Those actions without thought are showing you that you are knee jerk impulsive. You need to find limits and limitations that you can live with, without feeling completely restricted and punished.
Look, I get it. We live in a society where performance and success are measured by all kinds of external factors. Part of that can be acceptable, sure, if interpreted properly. But honestly how genuinely are we living when we are constantly comparing ourselves, our belongings, our appearance, our capabilities (etc.) to the rest of the world.
I have found it to be so much more rewarding and fulfilling to know myself, be effective in my life, and do what works for me, first, then see how I can insert myself elsewhere without compromising my SELF!
And you know what’s even better? Knowing that I can control my moments even in the face of distress. I can leave the pain behind and look forward with a brand-new lens. I can reduce my vulnerability, describe my emotions, and improve my experiences.
All I have to say is that it has been an incredible self-discovery journey (that hopefully will never end).
My life is forever changed!
Don’t be shy, if you want to understand better, just reach out. I’ve made it really easy to find me!