Look, here’s the deal. Regardless of what your role is within your family, social circle, work environment, or community, you could be leading by a better example.
Sure, that is a brazen statement. But think seriously about that for a minute. It’s a pretty broad statement. So how could it not be true?
Now ask yourself; Do I talk openly about the things that cause my thoughts to spin in an endless spiral of negative dialog? And if not, do I at least take the time for myself to properly work through them? Or do I just let them spin, day after day, hour after hour, creating negative behaviors and affecting my relationship with myself and with others?
Do I openly, even if I am unaware, cover up my internal discomfort with poor behaviors? Do I lash out? Do I avoid, procrastinate, or create excuses? Is it common for me to feel irritated, anxious, or depressed? Do I give myself permission to overeat, overspend, or even over attend to others?
How about the words you use when you talk to yourself? Are they pressure filled with should statements? The why haven’t I achieved or became or what ever other self-defeating comment you generally make.
These are just a few examples. And it’s not really what we started the conversation about.
What I know you want to know is how can I lead by better example. Be a better teacher, guide, boss, and parent.
Well, for starters, how about getting rid of the notion that you must hide those things you are struggling with to paint some sort of “perfect” picture.
That’s right, if you are feeling insecure in your settings why wouldn’t you talk about that? How else are you really going to move past that if you don’t? I’m not saying you have to come across weak, but how about just saying “you know what, I’m just not so sure how comfortable I am with… Can we have a conversation about this?”
Another biggie; If you are someone that tends to brood or ruminate on things internally, why wouldn’t you just talk them out? Seriously, if you are holding in reel after reel of negativity do you not think that others can feel this? Do you not think that it can’t be heard in the tone of your voice? So why not just say to the person that offended you, “wow, did you mean for that to come across so harsh?” You can even ask someone that has hurt your feelings; “Help me understand why you felt it was appropriate to use such harsh language with me.”
On another note; If you battle with an impulsive or negative attachment why wouldn’t you be open about it? Seriously, if you have a hard time with overeating sugary treats, why not just say so? Saying “wow if I have one, I will want to eat them all” is not so tough, it’s honest.
When you are self-conscious or have negative feelings about your physical appearance, that shines through like high beams from an oncoming car. You have seen it in others. You know you have. So how do you think that your children aren’t watching you model this and picking up all the traits that come with it? The constant weight watching, focus on exercise, food restrictions, etc. they are sponging up and putting their own spin on it because you aren’t talking openly about it.
Here’s the deal. We live in a society that talks about “epidemics” being the issue. Kind of backwards or after the fact don’t you think? I do. How about we talk openly about how they happen. And I don’t just mean the parts where we can blame one group or another.
Let’s be honest. What society really wants, but maybe doesn’t realize it, or is uncertain how to go about it, is social change!
The only way to generate social change is to let go of judgements, let go of actions based on perception, let go of the need for control, and move into a position of authentic and genuine honesty!
And that starts with each and every one of us with ourselves! We must be willing to be just that, authentic and genuine at all costs. (of course, with respect for others)
This is how we can lead by good example.
If any part of this resonated with you. I am here to tell you that The Master Climb will change your life. The online platform allows for constant interaction with your coach between your face to face coaching sessions. It’s having a coach with you in your life every day!